Social Media's Mental Toll

Why perfection isn't reality

Social Media: The Perfect Lie, the Standard We Can’t Obtain, and the Cause of So Much Self-Doubt

I never was an Instagram girly. Never signed up for Facebook. And honestly, I lived perfectly fine without all the comparison.

Then I started my business.

I thought I needed all the fancy apps to show off my products and bring in sales. So, I started spending more time online.

YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook all made their way onto my home screen. I’d scroll for hours. I followed other small business owners, mom creators, and pages with advice on decluttering, meal prepping, and running the “perfect” home.

The rabbit hole was dug — and I was being pulled in.

Suddenly I had new goals, I joined a decluttering group and set unrealistic standards for myself as a mom and business owner.

At first, it felt like progress. I thought I was becoming a better person. I even liked the little glimpses I was sharing.

Then the exhaustion started to overtake my days.

I couldn’t keep up with the other moms or the business owners I followed. Everyone else seemed to have it all together — except me.

How was I supposed to get up every morning, make my kids breakfast, stay on top of laundry, dishes, lunch, dinner, emails, orders, making candles, playing with the kids, and somehow keep the house clean enough for any random photo shoot?

The truth? It doesn’t happen like that.

Social media is designed to show the perfect moments — because that’s all they are. Moments.

Any parent knows that daily life is unpredictable. The house is rarely “camera-ready.” Kids have needs that always come before the business, the to-do list, and the aesthetic.

And running a business? It’s not always pretty. Sometimes products flop, suppliers fall through or sales hit a dry spell.

But no one wants to show that side because it’s not what’s normalized online. We're expected to maintain a polished image so followers keep coming back. The mess, the mistakes — those aren’t “shareable.”

Social media took a toll on me. Until I realized, those moms and business owners weren’t so different from me. They just chose to show the highlight reel.

When I started sharing the hard stuff — the failures, the burnout, the messy middle — I was shocked by the response. People opened up. They shared their own struggles and I realized I wasn’t alone. We were all going through the same thing but most were just afraid to say it out loud.

One of my most viral posts? Just the real facts about my small business.

That was my turning point.

I was done with only showing the perfect side of things. From that point on, I decided to share the real side of it all. The highs and the lows of being a mom, a maker, and trying to juggle both.

The more I share honestly about motherhood and business, the more meaningful connections I make.

It’s taken me longer than I’d like to admit, but I’m finally finding my footing.

So here’s your reminder: don’t believe everything you see on social media. And definitely don’t let it dictate how you feel about your own life.

We all have struggles. We all have wins. And no one’s life is perfect 100% of the time.

Writing this newsletter has become one of my favorite creative outlets—a place where I can reflect on the chaos of motherhood, the joy of creating, and the rollercoaster of running a small business.

If you’ve found value, comfort, or inspiration here, I’d be so grateful if you considered pledging a paid subscription.

Your support helps me keep creating this space while raising a family and growing my little candle shop.